Focus on your tasks

The ability to separate what is in your control, and what is not. What is your responsibility, and what is not. That, to me, is the most important ability to both develop, and to cultivate. Because so much of what we suffer from is outside of our own control, outside of our responsibility. Yet we submit to that suffering quicker and with more passion than we would choosing a different path in life than the majority does.

There is a big difference in the feeling of wanting everybody to like you, and not wanting anybody to not like you. That one realisation is a big one, yet both of them are equally as meaningless of a pursuit. When you chase that acceptance, you bend yourself out of shape, loosing touch of who you are, just to avoid that feeling of not being liked.

You are telling yourself that you are less important and worth less than that person whom you want to like you, or not to not like you. Did you mean to? Maybe not. But you are. Nobody will ever give your life meaning, because that’s not their responsibility. It’s not their purpose, their duty, their task. It’s yours. It’s up to you to give your life meaning, to give your life value.

Your responsibility. Your task. Focus on that. It applies to everything and everyone. Work. Family. Friends. Your child’s homework is not your responsibility. It’s your responsibility to teach them why homework is worth doing. Don’t mistake your need for social acceptance and approval of seeming like a good parent, partner or friend by taking on someone else’s task. That’s a recipe for nihilism and unhappiness.

Because it’s not up to you to determine what anyone should or shouldn’t do in their life. Just as much as you would like anyone else to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do in your own life. We are so indoctrinated to strive for other peoples approval that we submit our lives to a life of mediocrity, pushing our dreams and aspirations, that once were screaming at us to be heard, so far and deep inside our mind that they become but faint whispers in a cloud of noice.

Stop. Focus. Take a deep breath and think about where you are. What you are doing, and, most importantly, who you are. Chances are you have fallen off track. Dozed off. Hit the snooze button too many times. It’s time to wake up.